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CHAPTER 4:
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The Growing Brain
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Family and Social Influences
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Problem Solving
The Growing Brain |
By the time a child is 5, his or her brain has grown to be about 90% of the weight of an adult brain. This growing brain watches and learns quickly and permanently. A child between the ages or 2-8 will be GREATLY impacted by everything he or she sees or experiences.
The brain between ages 6-12, rewires itself as it learns more. This rewiring sets down a lot of the circuits that will be used for the rest of the child's life.
We use this simple "brain growth" idea to illustrate what a parent should expect at different ages.
Family and Social Influences |
In the earliest years of a child’s growth, the child learns almost everything with the family. As the child ages, the influence of other children, the school, and society increases.
The Table that follows illustrates how these influences impact the child at different ages.
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Age 2-4 |
Age 5-8 |
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Brain Growth |
Family reading; family affection; family sets clear limits. |
Family and school encourage discussion; family and school challenge with ideas and experiences; family and school sets limits and teach problem solving |
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Social Growth |
Family sets clear limits; family chooses playmates, child care or HeadStart. |
Family and school set clear limits; child begins to establish friendships; problem solving is a desirable skill. |
As the 2-4 year old child becomes 5-8, the rewards he or she experiences will become more complex and less dependent on the family.
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Rewards |
Family rewards child for "putting things back", sharing, and expressing feelings. |
Family, school and friends reward for good behavior; family and school set goals where child will succeed; family and school show respect for individuality and some privacy |
Problem Solving |
As a child nears adolescence, he or she needs to understand how to solve problems. Parents can use this exercise to "teach" older children (ages 7 or 8) problem solving.
Let’s talk about ways to begin to step-by-step problem solving.
Step 1: What is the problem?
Think about a problem: (for example) someone borrowed money from you and has not paid you back.
Step 2: What goal would you want to achieve?
What would you like to happen: (for example) you want to get the money back within two weeks.
Step 3: What are some of the ways (ideas, solutions) that would help you reach you goal?
Brainstorm on how you could possibly reach your goal (you may want to talk with a friend, family member or other adults to help with generating some ideas. When thinking about possible solutions, try not to discount your ideas. You will have an opportunity when using the worksheet to evaluate your solutions.)
For example:
- Ask the person who owes you the money, when can they pay you the money back?
- Ask or write a note asking for the total amount by the end of the week.
- Ask the person to pay you back in several small payments over the next two weeks.
Step 4: Look at the Pros (advantages) and Cons (disadvantages) to each solutions.
For example:
*If I asked for the money back?
Advantages (Pros): I might get the
money back
Disadvantages (Cons): It would be too hard (I would be
embarrassed/afraid to ask).
*Write a note asking for the money by the end of week?
Advantages (Pros):I could express my
thoughts clearly.
Disadvantages (Cons):I really don’t see any problems
doing this.
*Have the person pay back small payments over a few weeks?
Advantages (Pros): Could work!
Disadvantages (Cons):
I need the money
now.
Which one of these solutions do you think would work best for you?
When you look at each of these solutions which one do you think would be most successful?
Step 5: Choose the solution that would work best for you and possibly be the most successful.
Step 6: Think of some of the things you need to do to get ready for your solution!!
- When will the best time be to do this?
- Where is the best place?
- What do I want to say?
- How do I want to say it?
Helpful Hints:
Remember when talking:
- Say how you feel so that it is not hurtful to you or others.
- Think about what you need to say, say it as best you can, and someone will listen.
- Blaming causes anger. Use the "I" word. (I am hurt because) (I am angry because)
- Anger does not lead to problem solving.
- "Say what you mean without being mean!!"
Problem Solving Worksheet
(EXAMPLE) Go to Problem Solving, Planning Your Care to do on-line.
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1) Problem: Some kid is bullying and threatening me at school. |
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2) Achievable Goal: Talk to someone this week about how I feel about the bully and what I can do. |
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3) Solutions: a) Talk to a good friend about the bully.
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a) Pro's (+) My friend will know about what I am going through. |
a) Con's (-) My friend might think they have to get involved. |
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b) Talk to a teacher. |
b) Pro's (+) The teacher would know what to do. He/she may have dealt with it before. |
b) Con's (-) Talking to a teacher might make the bully mad. |
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c) Talk to the bully.
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c) Pro's (+) Openness + honesty can help to break down barriers. |
c) Con's (-) The bullying may not improve. |
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d) Talk to my parents. |
d) Pro's (+) My parents may help and support me. |
d) Con's (-) My parents may not understand or get upset. |
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e) Talk to my brother or sister. |
e) Pro's (+) My siblings may have some advise. |
e) Con's (-) My siblings might act or take my problem into their own hands. |
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4) Choice of solution: Talk to the teacher this week. |
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5) Steps to achieve solution: a) Ask the teacher if you could meet with them after school. b) Write down some of the problems you have had with the bully. c) Meet the teacher and find out what you can do about the bullying. |
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Do the worksheet using a problem that is
bothering you now or has bothered you in the past.
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1) Problem: Be clear and describe it in simple terms
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2) Achievable Goal: use action words, doable complete this week.
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3) Solutions: don’t discount any idea, just think of ways that might help you reach your goal
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Pro’s (+) what is good about this |
Con’s (-) what is hard about doing this |
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b)
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Pro’s (+) |
Con’s (-) |
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c)
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Pro’s (+) |
Con’s (-)
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d)
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Pro’s (+) |
Con’s (-) |
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e)
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Pro’s (+) |
Con’s (-) |
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4) Choice of solution: Best one to help you reach your goal.
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5) Steps to achieve solution: Exact behaviors, step by step guide to helping you do the solution a)
b)
c)
d) |
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We have tried to make the How's Your Health error-free. However, those involved in its preparation can not warrant that all of the information is accurate and complete. When you use How's Your Health as a guide for your health and medical care, be sure to discuss any questions about it with your doctor, nurse, or other health care worker.